And yet, and yet…

“The horse is fitted for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the LORD.” Proverb 21:31

In my ministry, the worst times of anxiety have always been the last 2 days before an event. You can spend weeks and months preparing for an event at or through the church, but every time the planning and the stress of arranging leads all the way up to the point that you step on the bus or call the group to attention. No matter how many times you run an event or program, that lead up is always the most anxiety-inducing.

We live in a culture that values most some kind of non-anxiety about life. The idea of a completely anxiety-free life has always been a curiosity for me. I can’t conceive of it. Even now when I’ve had a lot of experience in ministry and also take an anti-anxiety medicine I still feel its buzz shortly before a program.

We can do all the planning we want; and yet, we still feel the burden of anxiety over how the event will go, or what can go wrong.

As I’ve thought through the situation, the above verse is ultimately the main way I’ve learned to battle anxiety in my life. I do my best and due diligence to prepare well. But when the battle begins, it’s not going to be my leadership or my horse or my plan that wins the day. An army of one never wins. But an army of many bound as one always does. If we’re trusting the Lord to deliver us and to lead the victory, we know that our victory doesn’t depend upon us, but we have the grace of participating in it. This concept makes a real punch at pride, but it puts breath in my lungs to lead.

If you’re facing disabling anxiety today, maybe it’s time to recognize that your preparation will never win the battle. Nor ultimately will diligent preparation lose the battle. Those winds of fate are in the hands of the Lord. Our duty as good soldiers of Jesus Christ is to show up and hold the line. We get to be a part of the victory; not be the cause or failure of it.

So get the help that you need, whether pharmaceutical or therapeutic. Seek counsel, prepare your best, learn, strengthen, build. But when the battle line draws near, put your trust in the One who truly can strengthen and fight with His fire.

Where is your battle line today?