And yet, and yet…

My daughter is currently working her way through 6th Grade accelerated math, which combines algebra and beginnings of geometry. With her school system having a practice of not requiring homework until Middle School, it has been a steep learning curve to say the least.

As she goes through these equations finding the areas of circles, parallelograms, and trapezoids (what?), I find myself having Middle School math PTSD. I remember back to those days of the horrifying minutiae of numbers piling on numbers piling on numbers. Not the most positive memory.

As I work with my daughter through her math, I recognize a pattern that was present in my past. There is a grasp of the theory and the formula of what needs to happen, and still a miss on the execution. There’s nothing more frustrating than knowing (absolutely, stone cold lock, steel trap certain) that you have the problem solved correctly only to find out that you were off by one number. Oh the rage of my youth.

We find ourselves in our adult lives facing the same difficulties in relationships, in work, in living a functional adult life. We grasp the theory, but miss in the execution. It’s very akin to walking down the stairs in the dark, knowing absolutely you’ve taken all the steps, only to miss and trip over the last one. There’s confusion, fear, and rage that creep into those moments stepping off into air.

And yet, this failure of execution reminds us of firm truths of our world. As much as we want to think that our perception forms reality, the truth of the world actually exists around us whether we understand it and control it or not. The missed step, the missed math problem, reminds us that we are not ultimately in control. It reminds us that there’s only one Way, Truth, and Life, and we are not Him. Our frustration reveals the order of His glory. And I’m thankful that life and the world can indeed function on without my mortal actions.

So don’t forget to round up to the nearest decimal, and if you don’t know all the answers you’ve got the great company of humanity puzzling over the numbers with you.